As a stylist, people have always complimented me on my earrings, my shoes, my coat et cetera, yet for the longest time, I would always respond with, “Oh, thank you! These are super old - just from Banana Republic.”
Ah, what?! What was I doing?? I wasn’t receiving at all. I was deflecting and downplaying the compliment because I felt like too much attention was on me… or I needed to make sure they knew my earrings were affordable - relatable. Ick.
Yes, ick. As I write this now, I can see just how much (and how often), I was doing this. When did receiving, which is feminine energy, start to feel so awkward?
Well, it’s because we are living in a world where constant doing, going, and striving is celebrated – even encouraged, but what happened to the other side of the coin?
The side that is the opposite of action, doing and going? This side, no surprise, is the feminine side (left side of the body), which deals with intuition, allowing and receiving.
It relies on what we can feel, not just what can be seen with the naked eye. It relies more on what’s manifesting than on what is happening in front of us. It is the balancing of the two sides that is needed, yet is completely out of balance in today’s world.
Once I became aware of this dominate masculine energy and approach to life, I decided to invite more feminine, receiving energy into my life.
Here are some of my tips and how I taught myself to receive.
Receiving Can Be As Simple As a Compliment
Yes! Even a compliment is receiving. It’s an exchange of energy (give and receive, masculine/yang and feminine/yin).
Accept it – no strings attached.
Learn to appreciate your beauty, talent, comical gifts, photography skills (even if you’ve never taken a photography class in your life!) – whatever it is that people are saying they appreciate, accept it. Feel the warmth of their words and this gift of abundance.
Appreciating a compliment, without downplaying it or deflecting, keeps the flow of energy moving and expresses gratitude. This shows the Universe you are open to more good things. Keep. That. Energy. Going.
Let Someone Help You
Again, this doesn’t mean you are weak or can’t open the door by yourself (of course you can!), but let yourself receive.
Remember, life is supposed to be easy, yet if you keep denying, deflecting or saying “I got it”, of course life will appear to be hard – a struggle, because there isn’t an even exchange of giving and receiving.**
**Pssst – This is where resentment comes in. Over time, the feeling can develop of “I’m always giving, yet I don’t get the same in return.”
One of two things is happening (or both).
1) You aren’t allowing yourself to receive, (you’re only giving to others), so of course this becomes draining and eventually, resentful.
2) You are giving to people who aren’t available or open to receiving. Remember to go where you are celebrated - not just tolerated.
Learn to Enjoy It
I now look for the receiving that is happening in my life. Of course this doesn’t mean I’m “expecting” someone to carry the heavy bags for me or to open the door, but if they do, I respond with a resounding, “Yes! That would be wonderful. Thank you.”
Remember, life is supposed to be easy, but when we only put our energy into the masculine side of things, then of course it gets tiresome. Let the Universe help you. When we become conscious of this support, more help can come in. :)
How This Helps Relationships
There’s nothing wrong with being a #BossBitch, or an independent woman who can buy her own shoes and fancy car, but when we put out the energy of always going, doing, or pushing (which is all masculine energy - no intuitive, receiving energy), then there is no balance.
And no surprise, but we get burnt out as masculine energy dictates that we are the ones who have to get it all done – there is no yin to the yang. The yin comes from others, which is how the Universe is co-creating/helps us to live an abundant and joyful life!
Of course the females I meet don’t need a man to open the pickle jar for them, but I tell them, let the guy know what he can do so he feels needed. Perhaps ask him if he can pick you up from work so you don’t have to take public transportation home or let him know that you need help finding a painter.
It doesn’t have to be “masculine things” or things he knows how to do (although that helps:), but just something where he can put his analytical side to work and find a solution – for you. This gives him a chance to feel needed and let’s him know you want him around.
Even in a same-sex relationship, a balance of masculine and feminine energy is needed - I mean, both people can’t receive or give at the same time! Learn to embrace more feminine energy — in all areas of your life - work, relationships, love life, and more. Balance is everything.
Receiving can be tricky because it requires us to be open, however, with giving, there is a sense of control (no surprise this is the energy that is promoted in our world). With giving, we get to choose how, when and where, but receiving is good energy - and we need more of it in today’s world – from both men and women.
Remember, feminine energy is intuitive (seeing beyond what we can see with the limited, analytical mind). It’s soft and allowing, yet still strong and rooted. It’s a balance of both giving and receiving, masculine and feminine, that makes life effortless.
Whether it’s receiving a compliment, a gift, a ride home, or finances, become conscious of receiving. Are you open to it? Do you accept help, people, an upgrade, a free ticket, or opportunities with grace & gratitude or with denial & guilt?
It’s not easy, but becoming conscious is the first step. :)